Your Executive Director Is Setting Your Fundraising Ceiling

Dear nonprofit leaders & fundraisers,

I know. That's an unfair title.

There are brilliant Executive Directors reading this who work incredibly hard, genuinely love their organizations, and care deeply about fundraising.

This article isn't about effort. It's about leadership.

Because after working with nonprofits across the country, I've become convinced of something that I don't think we talk about enough: An Executive Director doesn't just influence fundraising. They define its limits.

Let me explain. 

One of the most common things I hear from Development Directors is some version of this: "I can't get my Executive Director to meet with donors."

Or… "I keep asking them to make thank-you calls."

Or my personal favorite: "They say they're too busy."

I always find that fascinating. Because I have yet to meet a major donor who says: "You know who I really hope shows up to this meeting? The database manager."

Major donors don't invest because your annual report is beautiful. They don't make transformational gifts because your case for support was particularly compelling.

They invest because they believe in people. More specifically, they believe in leaders. That's what makes this conversation so uncomfortable.

Many nonprofits unintentionally ask their Development Director to become the face of relationships that were never theirs to own.

Think about that for a second.

We hire someone whose expertise is strategy, donor psychology, stewardship, prospect research, campaign planning, and fundraising systems…

...and then ask them to substitute for organizational leadership.

It doesn't work. Because donors aren't looking for a substitute. They're looking for the person steering the ship. That doesn't mean Executive Directors have to become professional fundraisers.

In fact, I'd argue the opposite. One of the biggest myths in our sector is that fundraising means asking people for money.

It doesn't. Fundraising is leadership. It's sharing vision over coffee. It's calling a donor just to say thank you. It's introducing two community partners because you think they should know each other. It's showing up at an event because relationships matter. It's remembering someone's spouse.

Their retirement. Their child's graduation. That's not fundraising. That's leadership expressed through relationships.

And here's the irony. The Executive Directors who tell me they "don't like fundraising" are usually describing solicitation. Not relationships.

Those are two very different things. I've watched Executive Directors completely transform their fundraising programs without ever becoming someone who loves making asks.

What changed wasn't their personality. It was their understanding of the role.

They stopped asking, "How do I help my fundraiser?"

And started asking, "How do I become the relationship leader my organization needs?"

Everything changed after that. Major donor meetings became easier. Partnerships started happening organically. Board members became more engaged because they saw leadership leading. Even Development Directors carried themselves differently. Not because they suddenly had less work. Because they finally had a partner.

That's the word I think we've been missing. Partner.

A Development Director should never feel like they're dragging an Executive Director into fundraising. They should feel like they're standing beside one.

So if your fundraising feels stuck, resist the urge to ask whether your Development Director needs another training, another campaign, or another consultant.

Instead, ask one simple question. If I were one of our biggest donors, would I know our Executive Director?

Not their name. Them. Would I trust them? Would I believe their vision? Would I feel like they genuinely wanted a relationship with me? Because if the answer is no, you've probably found your fundraising ceiling.

And the good news? Ceilings can be raised. Not with another campaign. Not with another appeal. Not even with another fundraiser. But with a leader who's willing to step fully into the most important fundraising role in the organization:

Chief Relationship Builder.

Sincerely,

Queers

Queer For Hire provides fundraising support to Queer nonprofits, LGBTQIA+ cultural competency to straight-led organizations and corporations, and individual coaching for Queer professionals.

Learn about our Fundraising Services <here> – we’ll lead or support your fundraising efforts, whether you need general support or want to focus on raising money from and for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Learn about our Fundraising Trainings <here> – we can coach your board, staff, and fundraising team on how to fundraise and how to engage LGBTQIA+ donors.

Learn about our other services <here> or our resources <here>.