Faithful and Fearless: Being Queer, Believing Anyway

Dear fundraisers, friends, and believers in all forms of good,

Queer people and faith have always had a complicated relationship. For many of us, church wasn’t a sanctuary; it was a wound we learned to carry. And yet, countless Queer folks still hold onto faith, not out of denial, but out of resilience, redefinition, and radical love.

This week’s “Sincerely, Queers” conversation is with Ian Collins, a social worker, husband, and deeply grounded believer who reminds us that Queerness and faith aren’t opposites – they’re intertwined. Ian shares what it means to hold both, to find God beyond rejection, and to create community rooted in love that affirms rather than condemns.

Because for so many of us, faith didn’t fail: people did. And what comes next is the sacred work of rebuilding both.

1. Ian, many Queer people carry complicated relationships with religion. Can you share a bit about your faith journey and how your Queer identity has shaped or reshaped that over time?

Of course! I grew up in the United Methodist tradition of the church, and I have always enjoyed attending church. My mom gave me a choice to believe or not, and I chose to. I always say that there is a difference between a religion and a relationship. A religion can give you a book of rules, whereas a relationship is a constant conversation between me and the creator of the universe. I can always go to him with anything. I talk to God like I talk to my friends. I have witnessed God at work in my life in various ways. One of which was when my dad passed when I was 10 from cancer. At that time, I could feel this comforting warmth, like a hug, but different. I knew then it was God. My faith has gotten me through hard times and joyful times. I know that whatever happens, I can rely on God. I have been everything from a missionary to a youth director to going back to school, because I felt that God was leading me to go do those endeavors. 

Being Queer hasn’t changed my faith; if anything, it has strengthened it. Both are integral parts of who I am and have shaped me into the person I am today. It has allowed me to see things from both lenses and how to fill in the gaps, and has really made me passionate about showing that you can be both a believer and Queer. That we are made exactly like we are and not a mistake. I genuinely believe that if Jesus were here today, he would be hanging out with the Queer community. That was the whole heart of his ministry. To be with people who were minorities.

2. Agreed! Jesus would love the Queers! But, the Church has often been a site of trauma for LGBTQIA+ people, yet you’ve chosen to hold on to faith. What has helped you reconcile or reimagine your relationship with spirituality after that harm?

For sure.. Unfortunately, when we put humans in charge of anything, we will mess it up.  And the church has not always gotten it right. Especially when it comes to treating Queer people. When I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I asked God to give me a year. To research and study and really see what the bible actually said, without the noise.  A couple of resources that have helped me were a few books, including "God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case for Same-Sex Relationships" by Matthew Vines. It covers the six “clobber Verses” and discusses their historical context and what they actually mean. It's well researched and was the first time I really understood it. Matthew also has an organization called The Reformation Project. The next one is Torn by Justin Lee. It is more his story of faith and reconciling his sexuality with his faith, as well as a practical guide for LGBTQ Christians. 

3. Incredible resources! You clearly surround yourself with affirming community. What does a Queer-affirming faith community look and feel like to you? Have you found or built one yourself?

To me, it's a regular church, where I can attend a service and still be part of the community without feeling condemned. Sometimes, LGBTQ churches emphasize the Queer part and not the believer part, and they don't really use scripture or talk about Jesus. I currently attend a Methodist church that incorporates scripture into its services and is social justice-oriented, where I am affirmed, not just welcomed. Some churches will say you are welcome, but you can’t be part of the church or get involved in committees or any activities the church is undertaking. Also, it's not just being a church building, but it's the people. That is what is common to the Queer community: chosen family and being there for one another. That is what I strive for in a community that does life together, not just an hour on Sunday. 

4. How has your experience of faith influenced the way you show up in your professional or community work?

My faith has always guided me in everything I do. From applying to jobs to how I treat people. I genuinely believe that God is part of everything every day, not just Sundays, and I include him in that. I always start my day with devotions and scripture, which helps set the tone for treating people the way I want to be treated. If they have wronged me, I still show love, because love always overcomes hate. I really try to treat everyone equally and just be kind. My faith helps me look at people through a different lens. I always say that I am a Christ follower more than I am a Christian. 

5. You’ve found a really great balance – an integration, even – between your Queer identity and your religion. For those who have left organized religion but still crave belonging or purpose, what advice or words of hope would you share?

Don’t let the opinion of people or their interpretation of scripture be the reason you stop believing. All too often, because of the way the church has become a figure or an idol in many contexts, we think that if a church doesn’t like us, that is also how God feels. That’s not true! God adores you EXACTLY how you are. Figure out what nourishes your soul. Whether it's connecting with nature or with people with whom you can have genuine community. Sometimes it's not about the religiosity of it but a genuine connection. 

Sincerely,

Queers

About the Guest Writer

Ian Collins (he/him) is a social worker living with his husband Stephen in Athens, Georgia. He works with children on the autism spectrum using applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy. In his free time, he enjoys spending time with his husband, eating yummy food, and is an amateur photographer. Ian is a type 1 diabetic and enjoys educating people about the disease and dispelling misconceptions about it. 

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